Here's My Truth: Entrepreneurship scares me

in the case of corporate savant vs. trailblazing entrepreneur, must one choose? let's discuss.

This isn’t one where I have all the answers. Instead, I’m vulnerably sharing my thoughts, fears and concerns, and would love to hear back from you.

I’ve heard it said by many successful people that you cannot have a plan A and a plan B.

The belief is that if there is something you want to create, an idea that you want to put into the world, you have to dive into it full throttle, with everything you’ve got and no safety nets. The supporting thought is that if you treat the thing you want to be your main thing, like your side thing or your plan B, it will always remain as such.

For me personally, this weighs on me a lot as I think about AfroKlash, where I want to take it, and the impact I want to have. Can I ever get there if I continue to work full time? Should I burn everything else down in pursuit of my passion? Will I ever take it to the level I want it to get to if I continue to treat it like my weekend, when-I’m-free side thing?

The piece I wrote about finding and operating in your zone of genius has been the most popular so far because I know it’s something that so many of us grapple with. But once you know what your zone of genius is, the follow up question you inevitably ask is: do I fully give up the things that do not align in my zone, in pursuit of only the things that bring me true fulfillment? Yes, No, Maybe?

These thoughts were also reignited by the recent Grammys, particularly Doechii’s (my current hyper fixation) win and her incredibly inspiring story; from losing her job to going all in on her music, and now performing in front of icons on the Grammys stage. It’s been all over my social media and I know has made many people rethink or reevaluate their decisions.

Some of you in this community I know personally, or I’ve met through my work with AfroKlash, and I know have the same questions. Like me, you work full-time but might have something else that you feel is your true calling; maybe you want to become a full-time content creator, there is a business you want to launch, a book you want to write, a passion you want to pursue.

But the comfortability and security that comes with having a full time job is holding you back from going all in.

For me, the past few years have been some of my most successful in my corporate job. Last year, I became the first Black female and youngest vice president at my company. I was also the first person in the company’s history to ever be hired internally for that position. I recently had a team onsite in Dallas where I got a lot of great feedback on my leadership presence, strategic thinking, speaking skills, and confidence. Before the week was over, a few people said to me they expect that I’ll be running the company in a few years, and they’ll probably be working for me. All that to say, it’s going well.

So do I give that up in pursuit of what I feel is my TRUE life calling? Logically the answer should be no, but ideally, eventually, passionately, should it be a yes? Does it have to be all or nothing?

LOL.

I am a true Capricorn. I love structure. I feel safest where there is stability, consistency, and a large part of my identity and sense of self worth is tied into being a successful high achiever.

And so much of what entrepreneurship is goes against all of that especially because it is new terrain for me. I’ve heard from many entrepreneurs the risk that comes with it; the launch that may not sell any products, the brand partnership that may not pay you for months, living invoice to invoice, or never hearing back on what you thought was the perfect pitch.

There is also an almost everyday-ness that entrepreneurship requires, that you don’t have working in corporate i.e. you are constantly having to show up externally, constantly having to pitch, constantly having to ideate in order to make ends meet. And as someone who hasn’t had to do that for the past 10+ years I think this scares me the most.

For example, this past week I was incredibly sick with my first experience with the flu. The one thing I did not expect was the complete EXHAUSTION that it came with. I was physically incapable of sitting up or standing for more than a few minutes, my brain was literally not working, and I could not carry on a coherent conversation without needing to lie down.

Regardless of that, I still got paid my full paycheck at the end of the week. Now imagine if I were a full-time entrepreneur, who needed to be making some pitches or promoting a product online in order to pay my mortgage for the next month? What would that have looked like, especially if I were just starting out with no team.

These are my fears.

BUT BUT BUT

I am also a true creative at heart. A romantic dreamer. A big visionary with a brain full of ideas and concepts dying to be executed with my full attention.

True to the first statement above:

I see how treating my main thing like my side thing is keeping her my side thing

I see how not leaning fully into MY thing is stifling its growth.

I see how my attention is constantly diverted by the demands of my job

I see the life I want to live on the other side of my comfort zone and risk

I see how all of the women I admire took the risk to become the leaders and visionaries they are today

I see and feel the double consciousness I constantly grapple with by not having a singular area of focus

I see how holding onto these fears is holding me back

I see it, I feel it, but the fear still remains. The need for comfort, the familiar, safety and security still remains.

I know that so much of entrepreneurship is taking a risk, betting on yourself, showing up consistently, and taking a leap of faith. But I will be the first to admit that I have gotten used to my safety net. I love the sense of security a full time job provides (yes I know that comes with its own set of risks), and the freedom it allows you to not have to constantly be on.

But when I think about the true work of my life, my zone of genius, staying in alignment, “becoming an afroklasher,” — all the things I say I want my life to be, I know that it is going to require me to shift out of fear this year to become all that I have been called to be.

So in the case of corporate savant vs. trailblazing entrepreneur, must one choose? It seems that eventually the answer might be yes, might be a maybe, but at what pace, and at what time will solely be up to you. I think it’s important to honor your needs, while working towards the vision you have for your life.

For me right now that looks like:

• Staying grateful for the job I do have in an incredibly tough job market that allows me to pay my bills, work with a great team, have a real impact in the Education industry, and fund some of my passions

• Working with a business coach in my desired space/industry who can provide me with specific steps and tools to scale and sustain my vision

• Creating more intentional and trackable goals, habits, systems, and processes to remain consistent towards my plans for growth and elevation

• Getting very clear and specific on my vision and plan of action of where I want to be in 5 years and using the above systems to get there

What does your plan look like?

Like I said, this isn’t one where I have all the answers. If you are a full time entrepreneur or someone who is also wrestling with these thoughts, I would so love to hear from you and have a discussion in the comments! What advice, insights, ideas do you have? Comment below. Who knows something shared in the comments might help us all make better decisions faster.

Before You Go: Some Inspiration for you.

As I was opening up my laptop to start writing this piece, I quickly opened Instagram for some browsing before I started, and the first story I clicked on was the picture below. The next scroll was this post of successful Black creatives sharing their early corporate days before becoming the icons they are today. Right after that was this post of a doctor who quit her job to pursue her dreams of becoming an actress. The next morning the first post on my feed was this video on why you should quit your job if it’s not in alignment (my word of the year) with your passions, using Doechii as a reference. Then hours later one of my favorite people on the internet who seems to always know what I need to hear at the moment I need to hear it, posted this video on moving before your comfortable.

And people say God doesn’t have a sense of humor. The signs are there, but it might take me some time.

Keep Klashing,
Bosola.