WTH am I supposed to do with my life?
how to find your zone of genius in four acts.
Hi friends,
If you’re anything like me, the start of a new year is often a time to reflect and ask yourself: Am I living in my purpose? Why don’t I feel more fulfilled? What am I truly passionate about? Or simply: What am I really supposed to do with this one big life?
To answer these questions, my advice? Figure out your zone of genius.
I first learned about this concept in Elaine Welteroth’s MasterClass, where she described it as the unique combination of your values, passions, skills, and talents— “that which only you can do.”
Gay Hendricks expands on the concept in his book, The Big Leap, where he discusses the other zones we operate in, and defines the zone of genius as the perfect alignment of how you use your time and talents.
What I’ve taken from their insights is that to find true life fulfillment, you must be operating in your zone of genius.
Mapping Your Life Journey
I’m sure now you’re asking: Well, how do I know what my zone of genius is?
As an AfroKlasher—someone who defies norms to create an authentic, fulfilled life—you can rediscover yours through a simple yet powerful exercise: mapping your life journey.
Our childhood passions and natural talents often hold clues: What did you love as a kid? What came naturally to you that others struggled to learn?
By reflecting on key experiences and recurring themes, you’ll start to see the threads that connect your life. This exercise helps you realign with your true path and understand where you may have gone off course.
Below, I’m sharing how I divided my life into four acts to uncover my zone of genius. And if you’re new here, this is also a great way to learn a bit about me and my journey.
For you, this might be a brand new discovery of what you should be doing with your life, a reaffirmation of what you’ve always innately known about yourself, but now with proof and confirmation, or it might simply just be a great way to reminisce with your parents on what you were like as a kid.
If you’re feeling lost, this is a great way to get realigned this year. If by the end of this you’d like to map out your life, at the bottom, I’ve linked a workbook and other resources to help—no need for pictures like mine, but definitely makes it more fun!
Here we go:
act i: a firm foundation (0 - 5)
“You were such a cry baby - Dad.”
Core Life Experiences:
While I don’t have many core memories from this time, I’ve pieced it together from photos and stories shared by family.
From what I’ve been told, I cried A LOT as a kid. Like, to an abnormal degree—so much so that one of my childhood babysitters drugged me to get me to be quiet
My life was filled with so much fun and family. As young as I was, individual memories of this period are blurry, but I do remember feeling happy, feeling loved and constantly being surrounded by our huge Nigerian community in Laurel, MD.
Looking at baby pictures, I was consistently stylish (thanks, Mom), often overdressed, and never too far from my sisters
Reflections:
This period laid a solid foundation for my sense of self-worth, sense of belonging, fashion sense, and confidence. It also illuminates that I’ve always been deeply empathetic and emotional, traits that remain central to who I am today.
Act I themes: Empathetic. Family. Confidence. Emotional expression. Style
act ii: the golden years (6 - 14)
“You had so many friends and loved to read - Mom.”
The themes of act I were the perfect starting point, as they helped me navigate a new era: moving to Nigeria.
Core Life Experiences:
I LOVED this period of my life. Looking back, this was the era where I truly began to identify some of my core passions and values that still hold true today; storytelling and community.
I learned how to read and discovered my love (obsession) for reading and stories, and I read EVERYTHING; from Baby Sitters Club, Sweet Valley High, to the Enid Blyton and Left Behind series. My mom hated to see a Scholastic Book Fair coming.
In primary school in Nigeria I was voted “Head Girl.” If you don’t know what that is, according to Google: A Head Girl in Nigeria is selected by school leadership and is responsible for representing the school at events, upholding high standards of student behavior, leading the prefect body, organizing school activities, and acting as a positive role model for other students, often closely collaborating with the school administration to address student concerns. I was 10 at the time, AKA already a boss.
But the most memorable and impactful part of this era of my life was going to boarding school at Queens College (QC) Yaba Lagos. As traumatic (whew) as it was, to this day some of my greatest and longest friendships are with the women I met there. My 4 years there showed me the true meaning and impact of friendship and community, particularly with other women.
I also started journaling as a form of self expression, and writing fictional stories about my classmates as a creative outlet
Reflections:
This era solidified my love for stories, community, and highlights how early I was displaying leadership traits. It also shows how writing became a powerful tool for processing my emotions and nurturing my creativity.
Act II themes: Obsession with stories and books. Leadership. Love of friendship, sisterhood and community. Journaling to express emotions and make plans. Writing and Creativity.
act iii: “lesley” & the lost years (15 - 26)
“You know you’re not a leader, you’re a follower - Mean Girl.”
This part of my life has been the hardest to write about, because it’s the period where I got off course from my zone of genius in the quest to fit in.
Core Life Experiences:
At 15 I moved back to the US, thrust into another new environment and in an effort to fit in and be accepted these things happened:
I stopped being “Bosola” and became “Lesley”: a shy, meek, people pleaser constantly changing her identity to fit into new spaces, which was a huge contrast from the confident leader I’d always been.
Moved to the US and didn’t see my parents or little sister for four years, and lost my huge community of friends
In 11th grade while filling out the form for my PSAT test, for the first time I had to identify myself as an “African American,” (I’d never had to identify myself as anything before, everyone was always just Nigerian like me), and I had to begin grappling with race and identity for the first time
I had little to no friends, which was a huge contrast from the large friendship group I had at QC
I was bullied in school and made fun of publicly quite often
Around 20, I unintentionally stopped wearing color and became known for only wearing black and white—a reflection, I now realize, of my desire to not stand out
Post-graduation, I worked in unfulfilling jobs for 7 years, feeling lost and unsure of my purpose.
Reflections:
This period was the toughest because I was clearly not operating in my zone of genius. I wasn’t investing in my passions, I had lost track of my values, and I wasn’t cultivating my innate talents. In reflection, this highlights the importance of authenticity and helped me identify why this period of my life was so unhappy. While challenging, it laid the groundwork for my rediscovery in the next act.
Act III themes: Loss of identity. Meek. Disconnected from family and community. Passive. Shrinking. Bland.
act iv: the resurgence (27 - present)
“You are that girl, Never forget it - J.”
Going into 2019 I could feel that I needed a shift in my life. I was in a constant state of overwhelm, depression, and unhappiness. For the people in my life who have known me since childhood, the shared sentiment is that I truly started becoming ME in this act and looking back I see now all the intentional ways I started to make the shift.
Core Life Experiences:
So many core things happened in this period that kicked off my rediscovery of self aka resurgence, particularly in 2019/2020.
I went to therapy for the first time. Mid 2019, EVERYTHING felt off; my job, my relationship, my life. I remember in my first session describing how my life felt: like I was in the middle of the ocean, drowning and I wasn’t sure which way to swim to get to shore, so I just kept floating and drowning, over and over again. The DRAMA lol but my therapist (who I happened to reconnect with 5 years later - story for another piece) was amazing and helped me to start putting the puzzle of my life back together.
I read Michelle Obama’s Becoming (title of this newsletter is a nod to this book) which altered something in my brain chemistry, and also kickstarted my creative juices.
Reading Becoming got me to start writing again, and I ended up having three pieces published in the span of 5 months with one going viral
I started AfroKlash, which reinvigorated my love and need for storytelling and community
I started dressing boldly again with orange becoming my signature color
I moved to Dallas by myself knowing only 1 person, which pushed me to rebuild my life, community, independence, and confidence from scratch
I started a new job and career that required me to present publicly, which boosted my confidence and helped shape me into the speaker I am today
Act IV themes: Change. Independence. Rediscovery. Orange. Bold. Boss. Becoming.
Season 2 - Operating in my Zone of Genius
By doing this exercise I was able to collate and reflect on my core life experiences, the themes of my life that still show up today, and the things that throw me off my center. This process has helped me get very clear on the things that truly matter to me and how to stay fulfilled.
So, in summary here’s what defines my zone of genius:
Passions: Stories, Storytelling and Community
Talents (innate natural ability you’re born with): Writing, Leadership, Connecting, Emotional Intelligence
Skills (acquired over time): Public Speaking, Project Management, Event Curation and Hosting, Creativity
Values: Family, Personal Growth, Connectedness, Empathy, Friendship, Curiosity, Love
As I step into 2025, I’m using this knowledge as my north star to guide the decisions I make for my next chapter, what I’m calling my “Season 2.” (a concept I got from Sharmadean Reid).
So, as I think about how I want the next few years of my life to look, the question I will always ask myself: Does this align with the combination of my passions, talents, skills and values, will this thing make me feel fulfilled? Only then will it be a hell yea!
Ready to Start Your Own Journey? Here’s some resources:
Life Map Template: If this has inspired you to map out your life but not sure how to start, I’ve created a free template to map out your acts and uncover your zone of genius. Access it here
Elaine Welteroth’s Masterclass: Being able to access this masterclass is a core reason I still have my membership. If you’d like to watch the full course, or other masterclasses, I have 3 free 14-day Masterclass passes to gift—email me at bosola@afroklash.com if you’d like one!
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks: In this book he breaks down the four zones we operate in, how they differ, and goes into detail about the zone of genius. The book explores the concept of the "upper limit problem," providing insights into how we sabotage ourselves and offering strategies to break through these barriers. Adding this to my 2025 reading list.
With all the noise and distractions in the world (especially now), figuring out what truly lights us up matters more than ever. My hope is that as crazy as the world gets, we all remain intentional and steadfast about living truly fulfilled lives by staying focused on that which ONLY we can do—our zone of genius.
Keep Klashing,
Bosola
I love this, and I am so proud of you. Thanks for being vulnerable, sharing your journey, and creating this space. Going through transitions is Hard AF. I ordered the Big Leap ASAP; I NEED TO FIND MY ZONE OF GENIUS!